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I'm okay.

No seriously. I am.


I could be better. I could be in better financial condition. I could live in a big house. I could have a loving and supportive family that's always there for me. I could have tons of friends, have no health problems, and just be able to do whatever I want whenever I want. I could have everything I ever wanted, and never be sad. I could always be infinitely better.


I could be worse. I could have no money. I could be filing for bankruptcy. I could be homeless. I could have a family who was never there for me, or no family at all. I could have no friends, have a deadly, incurable disease, and be enslaved. I could never have anything I wanted or need, and always be severely depressed. I could always be infinitely worse.

Not that that explanation means anything.


Nobody wants to hear it anyway.


When they ask "How are you," they expect a normal, pleasant answer.

"I'm just fine."

"I'm doing alright."

"I'm okay."


Nobody actually wants to hear how you are.


"My mom is always sick."

"My dad is never home."

"My brother ran away."

"My sister was raped."

"My dog died."

"I tied a noose around my neck. The rope, unfortunately, wasn't very strong."

No one wants to know that.


And even if you told anyone, no one can or will help you.

They will pity you.

They will look down on you.

They will blame you for your problems.

"I'm so sorry."

"I wish there was something I could do to help."

"You poor baby."

"Why haven't you done anything about it?"

"Why did you get yourself into this mess?"


Telling anyone the truth never, ever helps.
At least that's what I've learned.


So, I'm just fine.
I will get through it.

I'm okay.
  • Mood: Hopeless
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:iconfaisalorb:
FaisalOrb Featured By Owner Oct 20, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Annie
I never knew
I can't say I really understand or know what you're going through
And I know the fact that you care makes it so much worse
But like weddng frnd said, venting helps. It's the least thing your friends can help you with
And your entire family would fall apart if you were gone so don't ever be like that.
Reply
:iconomnomwutnevrmind:
OmNomWutNevrmind Featured By Owner Oct 21, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
i dont think i would kill myself. im just too weak for that. but emotional breakdowns? yeah I have a feeling thats going to happen sometime soon
Reply
:iconfaisalorb:
FaisalOrb Featured By Owner Oct 21, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
[link]
deviantART muro drawing Comment Drawing
Reply
:iconomnomwutnevrmind:
OmNomWutNevrmind Featured By Owner Oct 21, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
:iconbuenoplz:
Reply
:iconfaisalorb:
FaisalOrb Featured By Owner Oct 22, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
look at that when ur having a breakdown
Be all f*ck depression. I haz kitties :'3
Reply
:iconomnomwutnevrmind:
OmNomWutNevrmind Featured By Owner Oct 22, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
okey
Reply
:iconfaisalorb:
FaisalOrb Featured By Owner Oct 23, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
;u;
Reply
:iconnintendo-nerd-ftw:
nintendo-nerd-ftw Featured By Owner Oct 19, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
dont hold it in,
let it out,
just say the word and ill be there for you.
you are a great friend, and a beautiful person.
even though you think know one cares
always know that ill be there.
when you say what you feel
instead of holding it in
let it fly off your chest.
i love you :) if i had my phone i would call you! danny cares too! :) haha laptop.
broski text me when your down! itll help even if i dont reply i probs will read it ha
Reply
:iconomnomwutnevrmind:
OmNomWutNevrmind Featured By Owner Oct 19, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
i cant words very well, especially when its about my feels :<
thanks tho, and I will let you know if/when I can
i lost my phone charger too D:
Reply
:iconnintendo-nerd-ftw:
nintendo-nerd-ftw Featured By Owner Oct 22, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
NOOOOOOOOOOOO ok that sucks
luv you
Reply
:iconomnomwutnevrmind:
OmNomWutNevrmind Featured By Owner Oct 22, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
i love you too, platonically
Reply
:iconmooseinboots:
mooseinboots Featured By Owner Oct 18, 2012
Take a breath, hold it in, start the fight and you will win
Reply
:iconomnomwutnevrmind:
OmNomWutNevrmind Featured By Owner Oct 18, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
wish it was as easy as that :/
Reply
:iconmooseinboots:
mooseinboots Featured By Owner Oct 18, 2012
I know how to keep myself calm now at least
Reply
:iconvigilantmeadow:
VigilantMeadow Featured By Owner Oct 17, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
This may not mean anything to you or you may think it's false: but I don't think that people are always insincere. In fact, I had a conversation with a friend of mine the other day who has been going through a lot of social problems and anxiety about how much we hate how people will ask you, "So, how are you?" and you are expected to reply with, "Okay" or "Fine" or "Good." But that proves that there are also people who DO care. When I ask that friend how he is, I want to know for real. Just like when I ask any person I care about. So have some faith in humanity, even when they seem undeserving. Do not think that all people pity those with unfortunate circumstances or envy those with greater ones. Some people truly do see things just as they are. Someone may have financial struggles or friend issues, but they also have just as much potential to make their life great as someone who lives in a big house with a loving family. It's all about internal strength, and I for one only truly pity those who are unable to find it in them to love life and make the best of circumstances.

I hope that I didn't offend you--I'm just trying to be honest in how I feel about this and maybe give a different perspective. People will pity you at times: I have felt that pity as well and, yes, it sucks. But there will also be people who will tell you to suck it up and make the best of life. I don't know which you think is better, but I personally like the latter option.

Just the thoughts of a mad woman.

And now, with all sincerity: How are you?
Reply
:iconomnomwutnevrmind:
OmNomWutNevrmind Featured By Owner Oct 18, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
There are people who do care. I don't argue that. But those people are so few and far between, its hard to find one. And often those who do care have thier own problems, and I'd rather not burden them with my stupid, trivial problems.

and I find people pity me a lot, because I am in these situations and they think I can very easily fix them, but I honestly don't have the time or energy or resources to fix the problems.
So I guess you pity me too.

And with all sincerity: I'm okay, I could be far worse, but I'm okay. Right now, I'm just trying to get through it one day at a time.
Reply
:iconvigilantmeadow:
VigilantMeadow Featured By Owner Oct 18, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
I don't think that's what I was talking about. I'm not saying you can fix the family problems or health problems: it's the attitude that is assumed around them that can be fixed. The only things that people can control are how they feel and react. A situation might suck (I can agree with that for sure), but one can assume an attitude where they will be happy anyways because they accept that there isn't a way to fix the situation. I'm bad at doing this myself, so I complain or I hide it (depending on my mood). But sometimes I just say, "Let's be happy for a change, despite how things suck," and I start to gradually feel better.

I do not pity you. People can feel bad for someone without there being pity. People can feel anger without hatred. People can feel happiness without serenity. It's like that, as far as I see it. I do not pity you because that would mean that I am trying to make myself feel better, which I am not. I am concerned for you because the way you're speaking makes it sound like you are depressed and giving up on life (perhaps not your life, but people and joy and excitement), which certainly worries me!

I have done the same sort of living one day at a time (not saying it was in the same way or for the same reasons as you). And it works, but it also sucks. I found a way to get out of the seemingly endless loop of repetitive days and grey-toned feelings. Because I told myself to be happy, despite everything. I know it's hard and you may not listen to me or you may laugh at me and think I could never understand--and of course I can never understand you, just as you could never understand me (that's why we're different people)--but it is is possible to fix things yourself. Not everything. Not outside things. But you can always fix yourself, no matter how broken you think you are.

I hope that you can see I care, and I hope you understand when I say that I don't believe you're okay. Because "just okay" isn't a feeling. It's a placeholder for whatever your real feeling is.
Reply
:iconomnomwutnevrmind:
OmNomWutNevrmind Featured By Owner Oct 19, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
and the only way for me to control my feelings so they aren't super-depressed-chicka mode is if I either make fun of it or just turn my emotions off. and yeah I'm dealing with the whole depression thing but I'm trying to get through that too.

i think ive reached the point where im not truly happy anymore, and i may never be again. hopefully this is just a phase.

lets see if i get through it
Reply
:iconvigilantmeadow:
VigilantMeadow Featured By Owner Oct 21, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
I know everyone has to deal with things in their own way. Sorry if I seemed to be pushing what works for me onto you--I didn't mean to do that. Obviously, it's better to get through things in any way that you can instead of refusing to get through them and just ending it right there and then.

But I really do think it's a phase (well, not a phase so much as just a part of your life that you will eventually get past). I don't know the situation, clearly, but you will move on from this place. You'll go off somewhere--whether with work or college--and meet new people, be apart from your family for a while, feel like you can breathe for a change. You'll find new things that you love and learn more about yourself. It may not fix everything, but it's a start. I wish you the best.
Reply
:iconomnomwutnevrmind:
OmNomWutNevrmind Featured By Owner Oct 21, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
its one thing for it to be a phase, but its completely different if I've been feeling this way for several years and its just been getting worse and worse to the point where I believe that one of these days I'm going to have a serious mental and emotional breakdown and I have no idea what I will do or say when that happens
Reply
:iconvigilantmeadow:
VigilantMeadow Featured By Owner Oct 25, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
Okay, well maybe phase was a bad word choice--I said so much in my comment.

It's scary when you think there's no way to get out of that...cycle. I felt that way and it's still kind of weird to me how I got out of it. I just sort of drifted. But, like I've been saying, that's just with me and that was a couple years ago. I had a bit of a fallback into it recently, but not nearly so severe.
Reply
:iconkyrraven:
kyrraven Featured By Owner Oct 19, 2012
" I found a way to get out of the seemingly endless loop of repetitive days and grey-toned feelings. Because I told myself to be happy, despite everything."

This doesn't work for people with clinical depression or bipolar disorder, by the way. Just sayin'.
Reply
:iconvigilantmeadow:
VigilantMeadow Featured By Owner Oct 21, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
Mine was more that I was in a situation where the people where making me upset and I couldn't stand living with it anymore, so I left. I don't know how serious my depression was because I have never tried comparing it to anyone else, but for me it was the lowest time in my life. I understand that there are situations that make it harder for people to escape, and I don't face any of those. I just like to try and look at what can be done now rather than sit in my own sorrows, and often times other people can do the same if they try. Not always, but sometimes. You have to realize that I don't actually know what the situation here is, so I'm giving the only advice I know how to give.
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October 17, 2012
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